February 2011
I should have never let us fail
You’re the one that I want
But I didn’t think
I wouldn’t think
I experimented
I learned
And I fucked myself over in the long run
January 2011
I remember
Then I forget
None of it matters
All it changes
Nothing has changed
I just want to see you
You’re voice is enough for now
Your voice could have changed this whole thing around
Just the calls you used to make
They stopped
You stopped
So I paused
I won’t go the rest of my life
Knowing I had the best
And settled for less
I’ve given up the best
Too many times
Left here hanging
To be denied
never denied
Killing what’s left inside
By self motivation
Self tolerance
I’ll make it in whatever I do
double sided
ever tried it
don’t knock it
can’t hide it
Free at last
Free to fall
An awkward awe
No one’s looking
Break all the rules
on repeat
Times like these are increasing
The times I just need you
To come get me
come steal me
come wisk me away
Into your arms
Into your car
Only in my dreams
that are nightly
So fondly screaming
as I wake
each night
I see your face
and the tears on mine
Only months can measure
I'm in control you little ones from nowhere,...
The last time I sat at this table
I was staring at you the whole meal
I get seated here
And I lose my appetite
Because you’re what I want
Break all the rules
when no one is looking
Same conversations
nights in a row
No one is looking
break the rules
We had this same conversation
only last night
Same answers given
Same fury rising
Same longing to crash
Lovesick & Ciggaretes
Break the rules
No one’s looking
Break the rules
No one’s watching
Break the rules
No one cares
Shred your integrity to a million little pieces bitches of the world
I wanna say fuck you to your face
But what will that do
When what I really want
Is to pop your neck zits
Not that you have neck zits
Just that it would probably be more painful…
Watch
WatchI’m seriously going places
WatchI’m going places
Watch
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Could we delay the moment
We’ve got eleven more
All this time
I thought I wasn’t leaving anything behind
What am I running towards
What am I screaming at
I want it all
Handed, Deserved, Earned
To be asked
To frustrate
To unanswer
To pause
So much anger
building up
Escaping
How many more months
Only months seem to measure
That one beginning
That one ending
Started this chapter
...
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I can taste your kiss
I can feel its sting
Feel you, feeling me
The warmness of you surrounds me
And in these moments I think
What if I were caught
What if in this moment
a spotlight hit
What would I say
What would I do
Would it even matter to you
If you saw me with your own eyes
In the arms of another
In the mouth of another
Pressed up against another
Smiling, laughing
And not...
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Calling, waiting
Anticipating, delaying
Calling you mine, standing the test of time
Difference of three, wishing for none
Called it from the start
Too good to be true
Felt it from the start
These heartbeats of truth
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You were new
And so I fell
I fell in awkward awe
of knowing I would captivate
My part would tell not of a thing
Only to take what you were
And give you none of me
Nothing from the start
But my friend
that I was in need
I pulled one on you
Not one, two
Not two, three
I pulled three on you
And yet you came back to me
Where are you now
Now that I am silently calling
I will not cry...
No. Fucking. Way. →
Beginning of I Write Sins Not Tragedies slowed...
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